funnytwittertweets:

umjammysammys:

akashicrecord:

akashicrecord:

international chain a twink to a radiator day

who’s more unbalanced.. this person for assuming I’m talking about Saw or me for just freestyling posts like this

scooplery:

you ever try to read a book and it’s like. damn they really just let anybody write these.

microbag:

batshit-auspol:

Here’s our most requested item: Bob Katter’s same-sex marriage speech, in all its unhinged glory

scatter-brain-at-work:

“I’ve been thinking about” something I’ve thought of for 5 seconds

“it just occurred to me” this has been bugging me for 11 years.

failbaby:

“drunk cigs dont count”

- Abraham Lincoln

bagdemagus:

In an otherwise terrible book, a perfect footnote.

jessepinkthem:

my blood is so special and pretty everyone wants it and thatse why everyoens always stabbing me with knifes and syringes and the sort but its ok I like it